


C'mon, Show me you Love me

by Beeonic



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: M/M, kinda slow burn?, like...a medium-paced burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:12:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beeonic/pseuds/Beeonic
Summary: He was feeling things, non-platonic things, for one of his best friends. Slight panic began to settle in as he finally accepted his romantic thoughts for what they were. What the fuck did this mean? As far as he'd known, he'd been straight for the last 30-odd years of his life. And now here he was, cuddling his best friend, and realizing that so many moments from their friendship hadn't exactly been very heterosexual. The gentleness, the excessive touching, the constant admiration – it was as if someone had just thrown a bucket of ice over him to wake him up, except the ice cubes were actually memories of him being super not-straight for Matt fucking PeakeOr; Adam Kovic has a crush on Matt Peake, and takes a while to recognize that fact.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Two weeks ago I was randomly struck with writing inspiration and now here we are i guess!

Adam Kovic had a cold. Adam Kovic hated getting colds – for several understandable reasons. One, they got in the way of fully enjoying his job. Two, they made him feel gross. And three, probably a dumb reason compared to the others; they made him look weak. Not because being sick was a sign of weakness, but because Adam couldn't help but turn into a giant baby in response to even the mildest of physical detriments, and it totally fucked up the Internet Adam persona; the one where it appeared as if nothing affected him.

 

So, there he was, walking into the Funhaus offices on Tuesday morning – tissues in his hands, a jacket hanging on his shoulders, and a flush of pink on the tip of his nose – and he hated it. He could've taken the day off, but he had dry swallowed a couple tablets before leaving the house, and figured some more of those and a bucket's worth of water could keep him alive for the coming hours.

 

He went to put the bottle of water in his bag into the office fridge, and flipped James off over his shoulder after he obnoxiously screamed blessings at him after every single one of the five sneezes that escaped him. He knew his co-workers cared about his well-being, but they wouldn't be the friends he knew and loved if they didn't plan on mocking him throughout the entire duration of his sickness.

 

“How you feeling?”

 

Except for Matt, of course. Matt had his golden moments of mockery and snide commentary, however for the clear majority of the time, he was too nice for his own good. Adam had known Matt for way too long, and the two of them had their banter, but Matt was gentler than others were with Adam, and so Adam was gentler to him in return. The shorter man was waiting to grab a bottled smoothie out of the fridge, and Adam turned to look at him with glassy, tired eyes.

 

“Like I've been hit by a train, and then had my mangled body run over by a dodgem car for the people's amusement, because I can't get away and it makes me look comically pathetic,” Adam replied, his voice rough and nasally. Matt smiled tiredly at Adam's remark, but his eyes were still generally concerned. Bless him.

 

“I'm sorry to hear that,” he replied in his typical blank voice, which got a coughing chuckle out of Adam, “if you need anything, I keep medication and tissues in my desk,” he continued on a sincerer note, and then grabbed his smoothie, raised it slightly in a cheer to Adam, and walked back to his computer.

 

The short exchange left Adam feeling slightly better than he had been prior to his arrival, however his moment of not-sadness was interrupted by yet another sneeze session.

 

* * *

  

Over the course of the day, Adam forcing his stinging eyes to focus on screens, having to process constant and loud conversations, and dealing with his constant shifts in body temperature, lead to a headache which made him sadly bow out of his work day.

 

“I tried guys, I'm sorry,” he frowned and slung his backpack over his shoulder, fetching his car keys out of his pocket.

 

“Are you gonna be alright to drive?” Elyse questioned him from her desk, her headphones off and her brows furrowed.

 

“I'll be fine, the drive isn't that long,” Adam waved her off, grateful for her concern but knowing it was bad enough to be one person down in the office, and it wasn't fair to take away anyone else. Still Elyse insisted she could give Adam a lift to his house and catch an Uber back to the office, which Adam rebutted with the argument that she had to be his Demo Disk stand-in very soon.

 

“I can drive you,” Matt spoke up from behind his computer, his eyes still trained on his screen, “I'm way ahead of schedule here, I technically don't have to look at this footage until tomorrow.”

 

In the time Adam took to try and think of another weak argument, majority of the office had agreed that Matt's idea was a good one, and that Adam was not going behind the wheel. Adam, hating to be a burden of any sort, immediately felt bad about taking time out of Matt's day, and he vocalised as much.

 

“Don't be silly, Adam,” Matt shook his head, shutting down his computer and getting up from his seat, “what kind of friend would I be if I let you endanger yourself on the road?”

 

Adam mentally cursed Matt for having such basic human decency, and gave in with a sigh, thanking Matt and giving a weak wave of goodbye to his friends, who all blew kisses and cooed at him like the assholes they were.

 

* * *

 

 Adam slumped in the passenger seat as he let Matt take the wheel, and if Matt was annoyed by the air conditioner being on full blast, he wasn't voicing it. Adam felt like hell, and he shut his eyes to try and relax. Matt turned the radio down slightly and spoke up, but spoke up quietly, out of respect for Adam's thumping headache.

 

“Do we need to drop by a grocery store on the way to yours? Do you need painkillers or anything?” he asked, tapping the steering wheel gently as they sat at a red light.

 

“No, thanks, I think I have some shit stored in my night stand,” Adam replied, “think I just need to rest more than anything, I just couldn't fall asleep last night. I was getting so annoyed,” he thought back to the night before, where he had been lying in bed at 4am, unable to sleep and so unbelievably bored, because he was too sick to focus on his laptop or play video games.

 

“You know I'm always up, or willing to be up, if you ever need to call or anything” Matt offered like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. Adam had no idea how one person could be so kind.

 

“You're too nice, man,” Adam chuckled, “seriously, how are you single? Such a caring soul you've got there, my dearest Matt.”

 

Adam looked over at Matt, who was shaking his head dismissively, as if Adam was joking. But Adam wasn't joking at all. He and Matt were the two single guys out of the main gang, and Adam wasn't surprised that he himself hadn't found anyone, because he saw himself as quite the ordinary man – but Matt? Whoever ended up with Matt would be lucky as fuck, because the guy was a catch.

 

“Shut up,” Matt muttered lightly, as he turned into a parking spot outside of Adam's apartment complex, “I could say the same about you.”

 

Adam scoffed at Matt and climbed out his car, grunting like an old man as he did so. He was incredibly excited to go the fuck to sleep, or at least attempt to, however he didn't feel right about just leaving Matt to go right back to the office again without some sort of repayment. He extended an offer to Matt to steal some juice out of his fridge, and wait in his apartment for his Uber. Matt agreed and the two walked (well Matt walked – Adam near-hobbled) up to Adam's apartment.

 

* * *

 

 “You know you can go to bed, I can wait for the Uber by myself,” Matt gently complained as he sat on the sofa with Adam, who was still in pain, but didn't want to be rude. In response Adam just shrugged and settled into the soft sofa cushions, with no plans of moving.

 

They sat in relative silence for the next few minutes, Adam gave Matt the TV remote, and they watched part of an episode of the Great British Bake Off. Adam took slow and small sips from the glass of water that Matt had poured for him, hoping that his coming sleep would put him in a better condition for work tomorrow.

 

“Thank you for driving me,” Adam spoke up gruffly, coughing between words, “you really didn't have to.”

 

“There's no need to thank me, I wasn't going to let you make yourself feel worse,” Matt replied softly, “are you sure you don't need anything else though? I can get you a cold towelette?” He knew how Adam was when he was sick; they'd been friends for long enough. Matt knew about Adam's need to be coddled back to health, and Adam was torn between appreciating Matt's concern, and being embarrassed.

 

“It's all good Matt, really. Next thing I know you're gonna bring me soup and flowers,” Adam saw Matt's phone light up with the notification of his Uber's arrival, and stood up with him to say goodbye. Matt smiled as he grabbed his jacket and bag, letting out a small laugh.

 

“If that would have you healthy again,” he joked, making Adam laugh weakly.

 

“Those things always help, but I'm a big strong man,” Adam said, “I'll just swallow some sand and bathe in ice cubes. I'll see you tomorrow.”

 

Matt rolled his eyes and nodded, and gave Adam a gentle pat on the shoulder before leaving the apartment.

 

* * *

  

Adam managed to roll into the office the next morning, his headache gone, however his voice was still nasally, and his pockets were filled to the brim with tissues. He greeted Bruce, Matt, Lawrence, and Omar, who were the only ones currently there, and received cheeky-sounding good mornings from everyone but Matt, which had him confused.

 

“Why do you guys sound so mischievous,” he groaned, too tired to deal with jokes until after he had his morning coffee. Bruce shrugged innocently, while Omar just laughed, and Lawrence was already back to work again. He looked over at Matt for an answer, but Matt was also focused on his computer.

 

His confusion over his friends' entertainment melted away when he turned to his desk, and saw a small bouquet of flowers on his desk. However, it was immediately replaced with fresh confusion over how they got there.

 

“What-” he approached his desk and read the card attached to the flowers.

 

' _Get well soon. There is pea soup in the fridge. -Matt'_

 

“Matt, what the fuck?” Adam said in disbelief, the beginnings of a laugh in his voice. Bruce, Omar, and Lawrence all dramatically _aww'_ ed at the two of them. Matt looked at Adam and gave a small smile and a shrug.

 

“You need to be alive for Dude Soup, so,” he explained, his facial expression screaming ' _obviously'._

 

Adam burst out laughing at that, and picked up the flowers to cuddle them to his chest, as Matt laughed with him.

 

“And the soup! Were you up all night making that?” Adam questioned cheekily as he took off his jacket and settled into his desk chair.

 

“Store bought. I don't love you _that_ much,” was Matt's quip, which got some ' _oooooohs'_ from Bruce, Omar, and Lawrence. James and Elyse walked in as Adam mimicked wiping away a tear.

 

“Goooood morning everybody,” James announced as he unclipped Benson's leash, “What's the hot gossip?”

 

“Adam and Matt are in love,” Lawrence drawled plainly, leaning back in his seat and resting his arms behind his head, tutting at Benson to get his attention.

 

“He asked for hot gossip, Lawrence,” Elyse responded, James nodding in agreement, “but I'll bite; what happened this ti-”

 

“Oooh! Roses!” James cooed as he grabbed Adam's bouquet and brought them up to his nose to dramatically inhale, “I'd be _honoured_ to be the best man at you and Matt’s wedding, Adam, thanks for asking.”

 

Adam snatched back the flowers, cursing James out, “not that I'm marrying Matt, but you'd definitely be the ring bearer.”

 

“I wouldn't trust James with the rings,” Matt mumbled from behind his screen, smiling slightly as the rest of the office laughed at James' expense.

 

“True. Remember when he lost his wedding ring for a day that one time?” Elyse joined in on the banter, much to James' apparent dismay, “But really, why the romance today fellas? I'm jealous.”

 

“I said that I would need flowers and soup to truly get rid of my cold, and Matt dedicated himself to the joke,” Adam explained, logging into his computer.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Said James.

 

“Right,” Elyse laughed.

 

“Of course,” Lawrence rolled his eyes.

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Adam ended the conversation. He met Matt's eyes across the office and gave him a small nod, and Matt nodded back.

 

* * *

 

Adam's health was restored over the following few days, and by Friday he was back to his usual self, albeit slightly more tired. But he always looked and acted as if he was tired, so nobody noticed a difference. He arrived early to work that morning, however was still beaten by Bruce and Matt. Which was fine, because he wanted to take some time to thank Matt for his help earlier in the week, and let him know that the flowers and soup were not only funny, but also a lovely gesture that he did appreciate.

 

“Mornin' Peake,” he rolled a chair over next to Matt's and slumped into it, swinging back and forth as he watched Matt edit footage for the next Comments Show.

 

“Hey Adam,” Matt replied, sparing a glance to Adam, “feeling better?”

 

“95% of the way there, thanks to your gifts,” he smiled, “seriously, that was actually really nice of you – I'm in your debt.”

 

“Don't be ridiculous, I did that as a selfless good deed,” Matt stated matter-of-factly, but Adam wasn't going to take that.

 

“Then let me shout you pizza tonight as a selfless good deed,” he leaned down to knock his shoulder against Peake's gently, “games and drinks at mine tonight, yeah?” He hadn't had anyone over in a while, and he thought that maybe Matt might be feeling a bit lonely lately, since Bethany was staying with them for the next couple of weeks, so why not team up?

 

“Sounds good, but I'll chip in for dinner,” Matt was really determined to not let anyone go out of their way for him. But unluckily for Matt, Adam was really determined to repay his friend.

 

“Whatever you say,” he shrugged as he got up, and ignored Matt's irritated sigh as he ruffled his shaggy hair, which felt incredibly soft. Adam touched his own hair, sadly full of product that day, and felt envious of how Matt could have his hair fall nicely while not having wax in it.

 

* * *

  

Adam sat cross-legged on his desk chair as he played Overwatch on his computer, his mood deteriorating with his continuous losses. He was mindlessly scrolling through Twitter on his phone as he waited for another game, when he heard Matt's knock on the door. 15 minutes early, how Matt Peake of him.

 

He closed the game and groaned as he unlocked his legs, regretting sitting in that position. When he opened the door, Matt had a six pack of beer under one arm, which had Adam tutting and frowning.

 

Adam sighed, “You just couldn't let yourself be completely paid for, could you?” he stepped aside to let a smiling Matt into his home. He hoped Matt was hungry, because he was fucking starving.

 

Adam gingerly took the beers from Matt and gave him a pat on the shoulder, directing him to the sofa. He put the six pack in his fridge, and took out two cold beers he already had for the two of them. He returned and plopped himself down on the sofa next to his friend, and passed off a can of beer to matt before he grabbed his phone and the pizza place brochure from the coffee table. He ordered pizza and garlic bread for delivery, refused the cash Matt tried to hand him, and threw his phone onto the nearby armchair.

 

“Overwatch has got me stressed out and I don't even want to look at another competitive game, or a shooter for that matter, so...Mario?” He asked, wanting to boot up the old Wii and play something tamer. Matt laughed softly over the top of his can, and nodded in agreement.

 

“Sounds great,” he said, “I want to be Mario though.”

 

“Of course you do. He's small and you relate to him,” Adam quipped, taking a sip of beer and cheekily raising an eyebrow at Matt, whose bottom lip was out.

 

“I'm not _that_ short, piss off,” he grumbled, mock-offended by the comment, but probably still bitter over being a small guy in a group of friends who were all pretty damn tall.

 

“Definitely not, my little rose bud,” Adam hummed, before standing from the sofa, “anyway, pizza is a pyjama food, I'll be back.”

 

Adam returned to the living room in sweats, Gryffindor socks, and was pulling a black tank top over his head. He didn't know how Matt was sitting curled up in a jacket and a hoodie; there was being a 'cool temperature guy', and there was just being a walking iceberg. The guy was truly a mystery. The guy had also seemed to have gone into one of his spaced-out states, his eyes blank and gazing in the direction of Adam's chest.

 

“You alive, Peake?” he teased.

 

“Yeah, yeah...you gonna turn on the Wii?” Matt diverted, taking a sip of his beer. Adam laughed, and saw a sheepish look take over Matt's slightly red face. Weird. He didn't dwell on it and instead followed Matt's instructions and got the Wii started up.

 

The two spent the night on the sofa, eating pizza, playing games, and getting pleasantly buzzed off beers. Well, Matt was buzzed, and Adam was actually drunk after resorting to downing a few glasses of cheap wine, since they'd run out of beers. By midnight, they had switched to playing Mario Kart, and Adam was ready to kill Matt because of his scarily good aim with the green shells. The last race of a Grand Prix saw Matt in first place, kicking Adam's fourth place ass, so Adam resorted to the cheap tactic of physically blocking Matt's view.

 

“Fall off the map, bitch,” Adam slurred as he leaned his body in front of Matt, letting his back obscure his view and therefore annoy the shit out of him.

 

Matt responded by sitting up and resting his chin on Adam's shoulder, maintaining his race position and his pride. Adam tried to jostle Matt off by shaking his shoulder, but it wasn't phasing Matt and his hunger for an overall victory. However, the antics did cause Matt to drive shakily, and begin to slip in between second and third place, and so he stooped to Adam's level and dug his left hand into the side of Adam's waist, tickling him. Adam started giggling and twitching on the sofa, swearing at Matt and trying to fight him off with one hand.

 

“This is your own fault!” Matt reasoned through laughter as he struggled to control a car and fight off Adam's defences at the same time. However, Adam decided to drop his controller to focus his efforts fully on defeating Matt, so Matt ended up doing the same.

 

Adam, now with two arms free, could overpower his older albeit smaller friend, and grabbed his tickling wrists to pin them to the sofa arm behind him. Towering over Matt and effectively holding an advantage in the wrestle, Adam paused to catch his breath, before looking down at Matt to make fun of his sad, defeated face.

 

But when Adam looked down at Matt, all he saw was another one of those spaced-out expressions. Matt was looking slightly below Adam's eyes, his lips parted slightly and his hair pointing in several directions. Adam took in Matt's messy state, and looked at how he was holding the man, and his drunken mind immediately recognised how gay it all seemed. However drunk Adam was also a very affectionate version of Adam, so he didn't find himself minding the gayness of it all. His mind drifted to the fact that it would be incredibly easy to lean down and kiss Matt, before Matt's gruff voice snapped him out of those thoughts.

 

“The uh, race is still in play,” he said quietly, his eyes hooded and unfocused. Adam was in a similar state, unmoving and unresponsive. Until Matt shifted his wrists slightly against Adam's hold to silently ask for his freedom back.

 

Adam, confused by himself, let go of Matt and slowly sat back down on his side of the sofa, silent as he picked up his controller and resumed racing. Matt followed Adam's lead and did the same, finishing in fifth place. Adam, pulling into second, received a congratulatory pat on the back from Matt, which made him flinch slightly.

 

“Congrats, Adam,” Matt stated politely, stretching his arms over his head and yawning, before standing up, “it's 1am, I should probably go.”

 

“Yeah,” Adam said airily, before snapping back to reality, “Wait, no, you can crash on the sofa. You drove here and you're too tipsy to drive home,” he reasoned, not wanting Matt to endanger himself or have to waste time trying to get his car back tomorrow morning.

 

“You sure? That'd be nice if it wasn't too much trouble,” Matt murmured, once again never wanting to be a burden on anyone. Adam turned off the Wii and the TV so he could get up to gather pillows and blankets from the linen cupboard.

 

“Yes, I'm sure,” he waved his hand dismissively as he rummaged in the cupboard, and pulled out a pillow and blanket which he threw over to Matt “you're no trouble, ever.”

 

Matt gave his gentle thanks and made up the sofa for himself, while Adam fetched the both bottles of water from the fridge, knowing they would help with the possible hangovers the next morning. The thoughts of kissing Matt were pretty much gone, and Adam made sure his friend was comfortable before he thanked him for the fun time, and said his goodnight.

 

* * *

  

Adam laid in bed for a while, his body worn out, but his alcohol-influenced brain too hyped up to shut down just yet. He mindlessly checked Twitter and Instagram, before looking at, but not really taking in, the Funhaus channel statistics. Restless and bored, affectionate Adam devolved into unnecessarily horny Adam, and he yawned as he laid back and let a hand wander into his sweats.

 

He let one hand palm over the slowly growing bulge in his pants as he let the other absentmindedly play at his chest. Adam was a visual man when it came to taking care of this business, but his laptop and earphones were in different corners of his room and he was too comfortable to consider moving. He let his intoxicated mind conjure up images from videos he’d enjoyed in the past, which helped some. His hand slipped out of his sweats to pull them and his pants down, so he could slowly tug at his dick, causing his torso to twitch slightly. Aware of Matt trying to sleep on the sofa on the other side of his door, Adam made sure to bite his lip to silence the moans he usually allowed to escape his lips.

 

His mind became more jumbled and incoherent as he stroked himself faster, and since Matt was in the back of his brain due to the threat of him hearing, Adam had no control over when Matt and his fantasies ended up getting mixed together. With his eyes screwed shut, images of Matt began to show up behind Adam’s eyelids, and Adam was moving too fast to slow down and stop them. He thumbed at his leaking tip as his fuzzy brain recounted the view of Matt below him, his small wrists pinned on either side of his head. He had been so damn small. Adam sucked in a harsh breath as he thought about Matt’s messy curly hair, about threading his fingers through it and pulling it back to bite at Matt’s neck, or using the leverage to drag Matt into a bruising kiss. It was so damn wrong. He was confused and turned on and so drunk, and he couldn’t help but let out a small moan as he bucked his hips up and came, thinking about grinding into Matt on that fucking sofa.

 

He laid there for a good ten minutes, ashamed and covered in rapidly drying come. It took a few of those ten minutes to regain his breath, and to force his thoughts of Matt out of his head. He started to panic; he wasn’t gay. He had never been attracted to a man, and he’d had plenty of sex with girls – that he had thoroughly enjoyed. He’d always thought of himself as straight, and wasn’t considering thinking of himself as anything but. He boiled his actions down to his intoxication, promised himself to block out this memory, and cleaned himself up.

 

* * *

 

 Adam was scared to look at Matt the next morning. He knew that his actions had not been because of any true feelings, but he still felt ashamed. Pulling on a shirt he went into the kitchen to see if he had any sort of breakfast foods he could serve Matt before they left for work, but saw that Matt had beat him to it.

 

Peake was sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink, munching on a spoonful of cereal, and he smiled sleepily when he saw Adam approach, and Adam couldn’t help but instantly smile back.

 

“Make yourself at home,” he greeted his friend roughly, looking in the fridge for something he could eat.

 

“I will, thanks,” Matt replied, “do you happen to have a spare toothbrush? I always have a spare pair of pants with me, but not a toothbrush. Kinda need one.” Adam chose to focus on the less important part of Matt’s sentence.

 

“You always have a spare pair of pants?” He asked, grabbing the milk, “you constantly shitting yourself, Peake?”

 

“No…you just never know,” Matt explained through an airy laugh, shaking his head, “they came in handy this morning, so.”

 

“Fine. You’re smarter than us all, Sir Peake,” Adam rolled his eyes as he grabbed a box of cereal, “let us all bow down to your greatness and stuff our bags and pockets full with clean underwear. But yes, I do have a spare toothbrush. Do you need a spare shirt?”

 

Matt hopped down from the counter and washed his bowl and spoon, how lovely, and shrugged. Adam pictured Matt in one of his shirts and almost laughed out loud at the thought of how the fabric would probably drown the guy. That’d be fun to see.

 

“I was just gonna douse myself in cologne and deodorant and hope for the best…” Matt mumbled, toying with the hem of his shirt, bringing it up to his nose to smell it, letting Adam catch a glimpse at his happy trail. Which Adam definitely didn’t look at for too long to be considered normal, “Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer,” he concluded, defeated.

 

After his cereal, Adam fetched a toothbrush for him, and grabbed his Batman shirt from on top of the pile of clothes in his top drawer. It was a dark colour, Matt usually wore dark colours. And it fit him snugly, so maybe it wouldn’t be _too_ bad on Matt’s smaller frame.

 

He was wrong. It was still damn big on him.

 

Adam was sitting on the sofa watching the news when Matt walked out of the bathroom, a black hoodie on over Adam’s shirt. However, the bottom of the t-shirt stuck out from under the hoodie, the hem resting around his mid to upper thighs. He didn’t look like a child playing dress-ups, but he did look like someone wearing something two sizes too big. Adam let out a laugh of surprise when he saw Matt, who just sighed and grabbed his bag from the coffee table in front of Adam. Before he could walk away, Adam put his legs up on the coffee table either side of Matt, effectively trapping him.

 

“Be quiet and leave me alone,” Matt grumbled, not even fighting back, just standing there and waiting out Adam’s annoying behaviour. Adam got a chance to really look at Matt, and how small he looked, and cooed at him playfully.

 

“You look adorable!” He joked, however was somewhat serious because, hey, Matt did look like a teddy bear that day. His hair and beard were both fairly unkempt, his eyes were soft from sleepiness, and his body was draped in big cuddly clothes. Adam let Matt go when Matt whacked his knee with his backpack, and continued cooing as they left the house.

 

* * *

 

“Well, well, well! What do we have here?” James exclaimed when Adam and Matt entered the office, calling everybody’s attention to them.

 

“When you didn’t come home last night, I figured you were just crashing at Adam’s place,” Bruce chimed in, “I didn’t realize you two were _banging!”_

“We weren’t,” Matt sighed and mumbled, “ _banging._ I had no change of clothes,” Adam nodded in agreement.

 

“Well whatever happened, you look adorable, Peake,” Elyse teased lightly, “doesn’t he Benson? Doesn’t Peake look cute?”

 

Matt ignored them all, and Adam followed suit, the two of them setting up their computers for a normal work day. Before James spoke up again.

 

“So, Elyse and I were thinking of maybe filming a drunk gameplay tonight, followed by a movie night at ours?” Adam groaned internally at the thought of getting drunk two nights in a row, but he heard positive responses from everybody else in the office, so he nodded silently. James proposed drunk Overcooked, before Lawrence intelligently pointed out that they wouldn’t get any god damn stars in that game if they were drunk, so the office settled on another try on Speedrunners.

 

The work day went by smoothly, with a few jokes here and there between Adam and Matt. (Adam repeatedly complimented Matt’s shirt, while Matt repeatedly insulted the shirt. The rest of the office repeatedly rolled their eyes at them). When the evening arrived, and everyone was ready to throw back some shots, Matt pulled Adam away from the group to speak to him privately.

 

“Do you want me to swap back into my old shirt?” he asked Adam quietly, “I know you don’t like when the fans flip out on you and…this could warrant a flip out, I guess.”

 

Adam had completely forgotten that Matt sitting around in his clothing wasn’t normal; he’d grown accustomed to it throughout the day. Matt was right, the fans would probably take the reality of them sharing clothes and run wild with theories. But Adam was good at ignoring people, he could just not listen to whatever the fans assumed. He didn’t want Matt to change out of his shirt. He looked endearing. Adam scolded his brain for being soft towards Matt yet again. He really needed to find someone soon. Nevertheless.

 

“Nah, just keep it on,” he decided, “it’s a good look on you, just ignore the fans.”

 

Matt looked down at himself, a small smile spreading on his face, “thanks.”

 

Before Adam could see that Matt had a sheepish look on his face again, Matt walked away to sit on his usual drunk gameplay stool. Adam pointedly thought nothing of it all and plonked himself down on the sofa between Bruce and James, yawning and grabbing a controller to enter himself into the first round.

 

* * *

 

 Seven shots later, there was a lot of yelling, Adam wasn’t quite sure the character he was looking at was the one he was controlling. James kept winning like he did last time, and he wanted to team up with Elyse to take him down, but Elyse just kept dying and drunkenly whinging. He and Matt were both in the race, and so he enlisted Matt’s help.

 

“PeakePeakePeakePeake,” he drawled loudly and quickly, “get-the-deer-with-the-hook-if-you-hook-him-back-that’s-a-good-good-thing.”

 

“I can barely fucking…jump,” Matt grunted back, bashing messily at his controller, “I can’t hook him, _Adam.”_

“A domestic spat! You two kill each other while _I_ take the lead,” James yelled triumphantly, doing just that, and winning yet again. Adam nearly ditched his controller at a wall, while Matt just threw his head back in defeat. Adam leaned far back on the sofa so he could pat Matt’s knee in consolation, while Bruce yelled something about a ‘drunk touch’ edit having to be put in the video.

 

“No more, I fucking hate James,” Lawrence groaned, taking another shot, “movie night time. We can’t lose at movies.”

 

The rest of the gang agreed with Lawrence, and they concluded the video so they could organize Ubers to James and Elyse’s house. Adam grabbed Matt’s shoulder and mumbled that they would win next time. Matt responded by resting his head on the back of Adam’s hand and near-passing out.

 

* * *

 

 Back at James and Elyse’s house, everybody had settled into a space in the living room, and had replaced their alcoholic drinks with water and juice. They decided on watching The Empire Strikes Back; thought half of them were just chatting over the movie about the upcoming Star Wars film, while the other half were focusing on avoiding nausea. Adam and Matt were in the latter group, and were sat next to each other on the sofa, both patting a sleepy Benson who had plopped down on their laps. Adam was half-listening to Lawrence’s theories about Rey’s parentage, and laughed when he turned to Matt and saw him yawning widely, his head lolling from sleepiness.

 

“Can’t be the first to fall asleep,” Adam nudged him and whispered, “if someone went after you with a sharpie or a camera I wouldn’t have the strength to stop them.”

 

Matt nodded in understanding and scratched gently behind Benson’s ear. The backs of his knuckles grazed Adam’s hand gently atop of the dog’s soft fur, and Matt quickly yanked his hand away, suddenly wide awake.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he muttered, looking sheepish as he went back to patting Benson’s lower back. Adam was confused by how sensitive Matt had been to an accidental hand touch. It’s not like they were teenagers with high school crushes on each other; accidental contact didn’t mean shit.

 

“Man, it’s fine, who cares,” Adam replied, emphasizing his point by grabbing Matt’s hand and interlocking their fingers. He held tightly and shook their hands a bit, trapping Matt and proving to him that it wasn’t weird at all. Matt didn’t have anything to say about Adam’s argument though, as he had gone silent, and was just staring down at their hands with an unreadable expression.

 

Adam looked down too at their interlaced fingers, and tilted his head slightly as the reality of their size difference became apparent to him much again. This situation was all too familiar – him being intoxicated and accidentally becoming entranced with how he and his friend fit together. He knew how that situation ended up last time, despite how he had tried to forget about it. He couldn’t help but find it all a bit cute though, how his hand enveloped Matt’s. He risked a gentle squeeze of his friend’s hand before letting go, as he himself began to also think that it was weird.

 

“Right,” Matt choked out quietly, his face beet red. Adam wondered if Matt had been thinking the same thing when he’d looked down at their hands.

 

As far as Adam had always known, Matt was straight. The man had never directly stated his sexuality, but Adam had just assumed, since he’d known Matt for a long time, and recalled him having things here and there with women. But Matt had been single for a while now, as Adam had also been, and who really knew anymore? Adam wouldn’t ever judge Matt about that kind of thing, he knew that much. And he felt curiosity wash over him as he began to really consider it. He may have been single for a while, but Adam knew what it meant when someone went quiet and red when they held hands with someone, or got pinned down by someone, or when they were possibly staring at someone’s bare chest. He didn’t flatter himself though; he knew Matt wasn’t having these kinds of reactions because of Adam specifically. The guy hadn’t had any action in months, and would probably react to anyone holding his hand or his wrists. Definitely nothing to do with Adam. He pushed the curiosity away.

 

* * *

  

Once the film was over, James and Elyse were half asleep, Lawrence was fully asleep, and Bruce and Bethany were surprisingly awake. Matt had downed a coffee and was nearing a crash, but was staying conscious nonetheless. Adam had powered through being tired, and now felt wide awake, for whatever reason.

 

“I’m going the fuck home,” Lawrence drawled after getting poked awake, and Bruce made a noise of agreeance.

 

“Don’t call an Uber, I’ll give you a lift,” Beth, the only sober one of the bunch, piped up, “I can give you a lift too, Adam, there’s just enough room for you.”

 

“That’s really nice of you, but I know my place is out of your way, it’s all good,” Adam didn’t want to inconvenience anyone, especially when it was late and people were tired.

 

“Just crash on our sofa,” Bruce yawned, packing up his stuff. That wasn’t the worst idea in the world, because Adam really wasn’t in the mood to pay for an Uber. He gave in and accepted the offer, knowing that Bruce and Beth’s sofa was actually quite comfy.

 

Back at Bruce and Matt’s house, Adam went for the linen closet to make up the sofa, while Beth headed for the bedroom, tired from her flight down from Austin that morning. He and Matt bid Beth and Bruce goodnight, and Adam settled onto the sofa, while Matt padded around the kitchen making himself a midnight snack.

 

Adam lay back against the arm of the sofa, his arms folded over his chest as he stared at the ceiling. He still didn’t feel tired, and apparently, Matt felt the same way, as he walked back into the living room with a small bowl of yoghurt. He cleared his throat to gain Adam’s attention, and nodded his head in the direction of his bedroom.

 

“Up for some Overwatch? Or are you still avoiding competitive gameplay,” he asked, and Adam did not feel averse to that idea. Matt had an Xbox setup in his room, and he could go for some Overwatch. He pushed off his covers and followed Matt into his room, and jumped into Matt’s bed, getting under his covers instead.

 

Matt setup the game, and let Adam take the first game while he quietly ate his yoghurt. Adam played surprisingly well for someone who was between being drunk and being hungover. Matt quietly helped, though. Matt didn’t play as well, and appeared to be getting sleepier by the minute. He was repeatedly yawning and taking a hand off the controller to rub his eyes, and after his defeat, dropped the controller gently on Adam’s chest and sunk down from his sitting position.

 

Adam was halfway through a game when he felt a weight on his shoulder, and looked down to see Matt resting his head there, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Adam couldn’t say he was surprised, but he could say he was once again endeared by the man, and made sure to stay still as he fought to escort the payload.

 

“Are you asleep?” He whispered, and felt Matt twitch lightly in response, probably waking up from his half-nap.

 

“No,” Matt grumbled back lowly, sitting up again. Adam laughed softly, unconvinced.

 

“You’re good to play the next game then?”

 

“Obviously,” Matt replied, with no conviction in his voice at all. Adam guessed this would be the last game before the two of them went to sleep.

 

Adam turned out to be right, as he rounded out the game with a victory, and a Matt Peake back on his shoulder.

 

Adam popped his shoulder gently to jostle his sleepy friend, “Why are your eyes closed, Peake?” and Matt grumbled in response.

 

“Just resting my eyes,” Matt replied gruffly, not making any attempts to sit up, “My eyes need to be at peak performance levels so I can win this game”. Adam chose not to tell him that it was his turn at that moment, and just sat there to relax. He was starting to feel tired too.

 

Adam decided he was too tired to play another game, and turned off the TV. He listened to Matt's breathing, which he noticed had slowed and evened out. He wasn't sure if Matt was actually sleeping, until he let out a small snuffle, and shifted slightly against him. Definitely asleep. Adam assumed Matt didn’t sleep that much, so he decided not to wake him this time. Adam could possibly ease his way out from under Matt, throw the blanket back over him and let him sleep with the whole bed to himself. But Matt was very warm for someone who claimed to be a 'cool temperature guy', and it was a cold night, so. (And maybe Adam hadn't been cuddled in a while, and he thought it was nice.) Adam decided to stay.

 

Adam looked back at Matt, though didn't see much since the room was almost pitch black with the TV off. He was glad Matt seemed to be content, but couldn't sleep with his shoulders resting on a headboard. Screwing up his face in mild fear, Adam very slowly shuffled himself downwards until his shoulders and head were resting on a pillow. His movements didn't wake Matt, thank god, however they caused the older man's head to loll down and rest on Adam's chest, his nose pressed into his shirt. Adam breathed in deeply, stared up at the ceiling, let his hand wander back into Matt's hair, and tried not to think about the warmth in his body that was caused by more than just body heat. Matt let out another snuffle and Adam smiled fondly, his fingers subconsciously settling the smaller man by running through his curly hair.

 

Adam, sobered up and powering down, thought about how he would like to stay in that moment for a long while. And he came to the realization that all his reasons for loving this moment, were because of Matt. He was enjoying the feeling of Matt’s hair between his fingers, the warmth of Matt’s body against his, the sight of one of Matt’s hands looking small on his chest, and how he could feel his breath and Matt’s slowly syncing up, effectively calming him.

 

He was feeling things, non-platonic things, for one of his best friends. Slight panic began to settle in as he finally accepted his romantic thoughts; what the fuck did this mean? As far as he'd known, he'd been straight for the last 30-odd years of his life. And now here he was, cuddling his best friend, and realizing that so many moments from their friendship hadn't been very heterosexual. The gentleness, the excessive touching, the constant admiration – it was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice over him to wake him up, except the ice cubes were actually memories of him being super not-straight for Matt fucking Peake.

 

He realized he was fucked between one slowing breath and another, and fell asleep before he could panic any more than he already was.

 

* * *

  

The bright morning sun streaming through Matt's window woke Adam up the next morning, his eyes squinted and adjusted to the light as they slowly opened. The sun became the least of his worries when he became aware of the weight on his front. Sometime in his sleep, Matt had seeked out more of Adam's body heat, and had resorted to basically laying on top of him. His head was in the same place on Adam's chest, however he now had a leg strewn over his middle. Still half-asleep, Adam let himself be openly fond, and smiled gently at the smaller man, letting one of his hands rest on his lower back. As he came to full consciousness, his panic began to settle in again; this wasn’t normal behaviour. He needed to stop, because not only would Matt be weirded out, but he was also still trying to convince himself that he didn’t feel anything…more, for Matt.

 

His awakening was interrupted by the man on his chest stirring awake with a soft groan. Adam froze up and let his hand hover over Matt's back. Adam looked cautiously down at Matt, to scope out his reactions. Matt slowly raised his head, and Adam caught a glimpse of his furrowed brows before he caught full eye contact. Matt's eyes went from half-lidded and sleepy to wide and concerned in an instant, and he immediately went to climb off Adam, muttering apologies.

 

“Shit, I'm sorry Adam. Sorry,” he apologised profusely, “that's weird, I'm so-”

 

He stopped when Adam pressed his hand back down against his back, keeping him still. Adam didn't want Matt feeling embarrassed or ashamed when he had down nothing wrong. This was Adam’s own fault.

 

“It's fine, Matt, Honestly,” he murmured, “it's still early, you can go back to sleep if you want,” he decided to say, instead of _‘I’ll leave and let you sleep in’,_ because he’d started to feel cold when Matt began to move, and his still-tired mind wanted the warmth back.

 

“I was cuddling you, you're not fine with that,” Matt shook his head, pushing back on Adam's hand, “I'll just go back to my sid-”

 

“Matt,” Adam held the smaller man in place again, “ _It's fine._ Stay,” he took a breath, praying he didn’t come across as inappropriate, “you're comfy, man.”

 

He felt Matt relax for a second, before the confusion was back.

 

“I'm comfy?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You want me to sleep on you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you don't think it's weird?”

 

“No.”

 

“...Alright.”

 

Matt cautiously lowered himself back down onto Adam, and Adam absentmindedly let his hand start to rub up and down Matt's back gently, forgetting that Matt was awake and would react to that. However, Matt didn’t react. And was out like a light again within minutes.

 

As Adam allowed himself time to properly wake up, he reflected on the events of the previous night, the previous weeks, and the previous minutes. So, Matt had him feeling some type of way. Matt, who he had been best friends with for years. So many years, and here Adam was, about to fuck up those years of friendship with the awkwardness of unreciprocated romantic attraction. He couldn’t let his weird ass feelings ruin what he and Matt already had, it wasn’t fair to the two of them, and it wasn’t fair to the entire office. He frowned down at the peacefully sleeping man on his chest, and knew that he had to pull back to avoid things becoming too intense. Regretfully, he took a deep breath before gently easing Matt off of him, and leaving the room to go make himself breakfast.

 

* * *

  

For the next two weeks, Adam tried his hardest to focus on work to distract himself from other pressing matters. He was friendly with everyone as always, however couldn’t help but be hesitant with Matt. He was not doubting the fact that he wasn’t straight. But he _was_ doubting the likelihood of a romantic future with Matt. He was going to have to be mature and move past his feelings, so he could later focus them time on a guy or girl who would feel the same way.

 

For the first week, Matt had approached Adam with multiple conversational topics as he always would, but by the second week, he had given up. Adam repeatedly kept exchanges short, and Matt was bitterly accepting it. Adam felt awful that he had to keep Matt at arm’s length, because he wanted nothing more than to hold Matt in his arms for as long as he could. This lead to both of their moods deteriorating over those days, until it became noticeable to the rest of the office.

 

“I know it’s like, your thing to look like you want to die,” James said to him in the building car park one day after work, “but you’ve seemed really off these last couple days. What’s up?”

 

“Nothing,” Adam lied gruffly as he climbed into his car, “just general stress, maybe I’m overtired. I’m fine, I assure you.”

 

“What happened with you and Matt?” Elyse wasn’t having it. She spoke out before Adam could close his door and speed away into the sunset, “He’s a quiet guy, but he barely got a sentence out today.”

 

“I don’t know about that, nothing’s happened between us,” Adam was going for the long con.

 

“Bruce said you slept in the same room after our movie night,” Elyse kept pressing, and Adam silently cursed Bruce’s name.

 

“That was nothing. Honestly,” Elyse and James looked disappointed at Adam’s responses, and Adam was in so much pain over having to lie to everyone around him.

 

“You two need to be adults and talk to each other. It’s dragging you both down and we can all feel it too. I love you Adam, but this is bullshit,” Elyse finalized before she and James said their goodbyes and let Adam go.

 

On his drive home, Adam replayed Elyse’s words in his head and knew she was right. Damn her. He needed to talk to Matt like an adult. Whilst trying to not make Matt think that he was attracted to him, he’d made Matt think the exact opposite. He was hurting himself, and everybody around him. Matt was the type of guy to appreciate honesty, and even though Adam’s truth was not that appreciable, it needed to be put out there. And if Matt didn’t understand it, or try to work with it, then at least Adam had tried.

 

Adam spent the evening crying, wondering why all his realizations and emotions had to be dropped on him so fast and all at once. Why it all had to happen to him now, and why it had to happen because of someone he couldn’t truly have. He drank a few too many, wallowed in self-pity, and guiltily touched himself to the fantasy of happiness with Matt Peake.  

 

* * *

  

The next morning at work, Adam felt and looked like hell. He had brought it all on himself, though. He mumbled a good morning to the office, who all half-heartedly greeted him in return, feeling the awkward tension of drama in the workplace. He sat at his desk and tried to focus on getting himself set up. His hand shook slightly as he started up his computer, and he felt short of breath. He knew what an anxiety attack felt like, and he stood up to go to the bathroom and isolate himself.

 

He sat in a cubicle with his elbows resting on his knees, his face in his hands as he focused on regulating his breathing, and pushing his thumping heart down from his throat and back into to his chest. He knew he couldn’t put off confrontation with Matt, and each time he thought about the lack of escape, he went back to square one of freaking out. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he heard the bathroom door open, followed by a familiar voice.

 

“Adam,” Matt called out seriously, “I have to talk to you.”

 

“Okay,” Adam choked out, shakily exiting the cubicle and making reluctant eye contact with Matt, whose brows furrowed at the sight of Adam’s puffy red eyes, and out-of-it demeanour.

 

“Are you alright?” Adam shook his head. He couldn’t find his words with his heart now threatening to hop out of his mouth. He leaned back against the sinks for stability, while Matt looked on in worry.

 

“Are you ready to talk about it? Or do you need some time to calm down,” Matt asked, and Adam took a deep, steadying breath.

 

“You talk, I’ll listen,” Adam said quietly, “for now.”

 

Matt had dealt with Adam’s attacks a couple of times in the past, and knew that Adam liked being distracted from his panicking, so his thoughts and emotions had a chance to arrange themselves back into order. So, Matt talked.

 

“These past couple weeks have been horrible,” Matt started out, bluntly, but in a gentle tone, “Particularly horrible because, I had recently been made to feel very happy, so it was a very sudden, and unappreciated, drop.”

 

Adam didn’t know exactly what Matt was alluding to at that point, but he knew it mattered a lot, so he stayed silently focused, and let Matt carry on. Matt took a minute to speak up again, though. He leaned back on the sink next to Adam, and Adam could almost hear the cogs in Matt’s brain working at a thousand miles per hour. Finally, the man found some words.

 

“For a while – a long while – I have had certain…romantic feelings. For you,” Adam felt his heart stop for a split second, and his brain emptied, “And I dealt with knowing that these feelings were not, and would never be, reciprocated.”

 

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Matt was wrong. Adam wanted to tear his hair out, and it took every fibre of his being to stay quiet and let Matt share his feelings, rather than cry or scream or apologize until his voice left him.

 

“Until a few weeks ago, when you started acting differently towards me. You…were closer, kinder, and I knew that you sensed a change as well. So, I started getting my hopes up,” Matt was beginning to sound more emotional, his voice softened and sad, “The way you looked at me, how you touched me, and the – the cuddling, they had me ready to just tell you everything. Because I thought the impossible had happened.”

 

Matt sniffed and wiped at his eyes, sighing as he stared dead ahead at the wall in front of him, rather than anywhere near Adam. The man looked so exhausted, and so defeated.

 

“But then it was like you took a hundred steps backwards. You’ve been ignoring and avoiding me, despite my best efforts. And I don’t know why you’re acting this way, but it’s fucking destroyed me, Adam. And I need you to tell me what I’ve done, and how I can fix it. If it’s that I’ve been too close, I’m sorry, and I can back off. I can get over some feelings, I’m an adult. But for the love of God, just say _something._ ”

 

Adam let out a strangled sob, which echoed painfully around the bathroom. He’d been so oblivious, and so selfish; so caught up in his own thoughts and feelings that he hadn’t noticed what Matt was going through. He felt so disappointed in himself for building Matt up and letting him fall. Here Matt was, baring his heart to Adam, and it was broken. And Adam had been the one to break it, because he’d made assumptions and judgements about Matt that he shouldn’t have. Matt wanted Adam, the same way Adam wanted Matt. That was a fact, one that Adam still couldn’t believe. He didn’t feel lucky, though, he only felt incredible guilt, for letting a potentially perfect situation fall apart.

 

“I’m so sorry,” tears were welling up and falling from his eyes as he looked at Matt, “I was confused, and I didn’t want to hurt you, but I ended up doing that anyway; I didn’t want you to know how fucking badly I wanted you, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he was a rambling, snuffling mess.

 

Matt was openly crying too, but was trying his back to keep it in, and his shoulders were shaking with it.

 

“Adam, if you’re not one hundred percent sure that you feel the same, then please – please just stop,” Matt weakly begged, his voice ragged, “I can’t be let down again. Don’t do that to me. Please.”

 

Adam lifted a trembling hand to gently cup Matt’s cheek, causing Matt to finally face Adam. Adam threw his caution and fear to the wind, and kissed him.

 

Rather than think before moving in, Adam decided to think after already pressing his lips to Matt’s. What if Matt didn’t want him anymore after what he’d done? Adam had been a dick and he shouldn’t expect forgiveness so fast for hurting Matt so badly. Matt was in an incredibly sensitive state, and probably needed time to breathe. Before Adam could pull away and apologise, Matt decided to react, and did so by placing a tentative hand gingerly on Adam’s waist. Matt moved his lips ever so slightly to let Adam’s top one slip between them. He held it there softly and tilted his head, allowing Adam to make a smooth movement in response.

 

Adam’s mind had gone into overdrive, the skin under Matt’s hand burning hot. He wanted to pause the moment so he could really process what was happening. He was having his first kiss with Matt Peake, and it was so new and out of the ordinary, but it was perfect, and it was what Adam had been needing. With a need to keep the two of them trapped in the moment for as long as possible, Adam parted the two of them slightly and moved to stand in front of Matt, effectively trapping him back against the counter. He cradled Matt’s face in both hands as he expressed all his apologies into a single kiss, and tried to show the man how much he truly cared with the passion of his actions. Matt took kindly to the embrace, and his arms looped tightly around Adam’s middle, sharing in the kiss before he let them separate after what had been both an eternity and a second.

 

The smaller man rested his forehead on Adam’s shoulder, and Adam rested his nose in his hair and inhaled quietly, “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice muffled.

 

“Please stay,” Matt whispered in return, and Adam would rather die than leave.

 

They hugged for a long while, breathing each other in and convincing themselves that they were, in fact, together. And they were going to stay that way. They were both finally on the same page, and Adam prayed that Matt wouldn’t decide to read ahead, or close the book. Soon, the two of them had stopped their infrequent sniffling, and their breathing was once again regulated. Adam leaned back and held onto Matt’s hips as he gazed into his tired eyes. Matt gave a peaceful smile, looking relaxed and at ease. Adam smiled back, laughing lightly.

 

“Would you like to go out with me sometime, Matt Peake?” he asked, which got some laughter out of Matt too. The sound of him expressing his happiness was like music.

 

“I think I would, Adam Kovic,” he nodded, “I do have high standards for dates, though.”

 

“I know a little bit about wining and dining,” Adam leaned down to press his forehead against Matt’s, and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose, “Dinner tonight? All on me.”

 

Matt agreed and they stared into each other’s eyes intensely before kissing again, Adam smiling into it as he felt Matt’s arm’s rest over his shoulders, knowing the man had to be on his tiptoes to be doing so. They fit together nicely.

 

* * *

 

 Adam decided to take Matt out to a local Italian place for dinner, and made sure to dress to the nines. Matt appreciated the effort, and had cleaned up nicely himself. Adam whistled lowly as Matt’s apartment door opened to reveal the man, in his black button down and pants.

 

“You look great, man,” Adam nodded appreciatively, reaching a hand out to feel the fabric at the shoulder of Matt’s shirt. Matt flinched away and scrunched his nose up.

 

“Man?” he laughed confusedly, and Adam realized his mess up. He had a long way to go.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed nervously, “I’ll work on it.”

 

Matt assured Adam he was joking and that it was fine, because the situation was pretty weird and new to them both. Adam walked Matt out to the car, and wondered what pet names would suit Matt. Or more importantly; what pet names that Matt would be okay with.

 

At the restaurant, Matt tried his very hardest to offer Adam money for his meal. Adam continuously refused, wanting to provide Matt with a stress free, lovely night. However, Matt couldn’t stand the thought of making Adam pay for two pricey meals, so they settled happily on Adam shouting them a pizza to share. It was all very classic-first-date-esque. They played footsie under the table, had a few moments of fumbling for things to say (even though they had been best friends for years, Adam felt a little nervous talking to him, because he _really_ badly wanted the night to be flawless, and the pressure was getting to him), and didn’t take their eyes off of each other the entire time.

 

They discussed work, and current events, and how damn good the pizza crust was. Before the conversation began to cover the topic of their mutual attraction.

 

“I still have the flowers you got me last month,” Adam admitted, and Matt laughed in surprise, because those flowers were long dead. He stated as much out loud, and Adam just shrugged.

 

“That was the cutest thing someone had done for me in…probably years. They’re crumbling in a vase on my bedside table, but I don’t want to get rid of them.”

 

“I’ll just have to buy you a new bouquet then,” Matt suggested, and Adam very much enjoyed that idea. As a guy, he typically was expected to give flowers, not receive them. But he quite liked having flowers gifted to him. They were pretty, and smelled nice, and he apparently was a classic and hopeless romantic.

 

“I had a stroke when you held my hand at James and Elyse’s place,” Matt eventually, and quietly, told Adam. Adam reached over the table to lace his fingers between Matt’s, waggling his eyebrows cheekily.

 

“Like this?”

 

Matt rolled his eyes, but his expression had softened and he looked down at their hands fondly, like having the sight in front of him made him the luckiest man alive. Adam squeezed his hand and rubbed his thumb along his wrist.

 

“Just…any contact with you had me on edge,” Matt continued, sounding wrongly embarrassed.

 

“Same here. I so badly wanted to kiss you after MarioKart, I had no idea _why_ , but the urge was there,” Adam took a long sip of his wine, pointedly leaving out the part of the story where he jerked himself off.

 

Matt looked intensely at his napkin as he fumbled with it one-handedly, his cheeks flaming red.

 

“I would’ve been okay with that,” he murmured, tapping at the table top with his fingertips and biting his lip, “I would’ve been really okay with that.”

 

Adam was quiet as he watched Matt, how he was suddenly looking smaller and shyer because of the discussion of his attraction to Adam. Adam didn’t want Matt to be embarrassed by his feelings, because they were wonderful and positive. He squeezed his hand again so Matt would look at him. He didn’t say anything, just looked into his date’s eyes for a long moment. He thought about that night on the sofa, and how he’d looked into those same eyes while lying above Matt, holding his wrists and straddling his waist. The contact had set him alight, and he felt so lucky that he had gotten over himself, with Matt’s help, so that he could chase down that contact again.

 

“Would you come back to my place tonight?” he worked up the courage to ask, not caring at all if the sleepover didn’t involve any sex. All he wanted was to be with Matt as much as possible, no matter what they were doing. He clarified that to Matt, “I don’t, like, _expect_ anything. I just don’t want the night to end here, you know? I’m having fun.”

 

Matt smiled at Adam, obviously not opposed to the idea. The two of them spent the next ten minutes deciding whether to cuddle while watching a movie, or while playing a game. They settled on watching Guardians of the Galaxy, and left the restaurant hand in hand.

 

* * *

 

 Back at Adam’s house, the two of them settled onto the sofa beside each other, full and happy from dinner. While Adam leaned against the right arm of the sofa, browsing Netflix for their chosen movie, Matt was deliberating on how to settle. He sat politely with his hands in his lap, then tried crossing his legs, as well as hugging his knees. Adam took notice of Matt’s constant, nervous shifting, and settled him with a hand to his shoulder.

 

“Once I’ve got the movie on, I’ll lay back against the arm a bit and you can lie on my chest,” the suggestion seemed nice to Adam, and Matt nodded in agreement. Adam figured Matt would be taking the role of little spoon in their future cuddles, and the one to lie on top of Adam, instead of vice versa. Which was totally cool with Adam, because Matt was like a warm, nice-smelling human teddy bear.

 

As the movie playing on the television lit up the otherwise dark room, Adam and Matt arranged themselves so that Adam was half lying back against the arm and the back of the sofa, while Matt relaxed between his legs, and rested his head on his chest. It was incredibly comfortable, and Adam found himself looking down at the top of Matt’s head more than he was looking at the film. He felt incredibly lucky, and still quite surprised, to be in this position. He was dating Matt Peake, and he didn’t feel weird or guilty when he lifted a hand up to card through his date’s hair. Matt sighed softly at the one-handed head massage he was receiving, and Adam was happy to see Matt so relaxed and docile, since the man was usually intensely focused on his work, and rarely took a break.

 

Half an hour passed, and Adam found himself less and less focused on the heroes guarding the galaxy, and more focused on the small man cuddled up on his chest. Gently, he pressed a kiss to the top of Matt’s head. Satisfied with the contact, and the happiness it sparked inside of him, he kissed Matt again, slightly above his ear. He couldn’t reach very far, so he settled for pressing soft and slow kisses over the man’s hair, until Matt eventually reacted. Matt laughed airily, and shifted himself so his forearms were crossed over Adam’s chest, and they were nose to nose.

 

“Why aren’t you watching the film?” he enquired, and Adam mischievously shrugged, giving an innocent _I-don’t-know-what-you-mean_ expression.

 

“Maybe I’ve found something more interesting to pay attention to,” Adam replied, as he leaned down to press his forehead to Matt’s. Matt’s gaze fell to Adam’s mouth, and Adam took his moment of distraction to lean in for a proper kiss.

 

Matt propped himself up higher on his forearms to really kiss Adam back. The two of them let their lips languidly press, drag, and lock, Adam’s hand on the small of Matt’s back, and one of Matt’s hands reaching up to cup Adam’s jaw.

 

The movie was being ignored, and became long forgotten once Adam deepened the kiss by letting his tongue gently tease at Matt’s lips. Matt let out a quiet moan as he opened his mouth slightly to let the kiss develop further, and Adam pushed Matt’s body closer to his with the hand on the man’s back, wanting to hear more of those moans. The angle was beginning to cause neck strain for both of them, which was fixed when Matt pulled away to straddle Adam’s waist, while Adam sat up more against the arm of the sofa.

 

Matt gained confidence and took Adam’s face in both hands, resuming the kiss deeply and passionately, which Adam took very kindly to. A new mood was being set as their kiss gained intensity, and Adam felt comfortable letting his hands wander down to Matt’s ass, to settle there and squeeze gently.

 

“Shit,” Matt gasped raggedly into the kiss, his hips twitching against his better judgement. Adam felt the exact same as Matt did; overwhelmed.

 

Which wasn’t helped when Matt took it upon himself to press open mouth kisses to Adam’s jaw, and down his neck. Adam let his head hang back, and he moaned a ‘fuck’ to the ceiling, as Matt let his lips and teeth graze along the sensitive skin. He felt his dick starting to get hard, but had no hope of trying to will it away - not with Matt panting against his neck, and letting his thumb slip down to rest on Adam’s shiny bottom lip. Adam absentmindedly kissed the pad of Matt’s thumb, before biting it gently, which drew a small groan from the man. Adam took a moment to pause and catch his breath, while Matt kissed up his neck.

 

“Is this…going somewhere?” he panted out, becoming acutely aware of the fact that he’d never done anything sexual with another guy. He had no fucking clue what he was meant to be doing.

 

“If you wanted it to, I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to the idea,” Matt said between kisses, his voice worn out but kind.

 

“Have you ever,” Adam thought about his phrasing of the question, “done…stuff…with a guy before?” truly eloquent. Matt stopped his kisses, and Adam felt a heavy exhale against his neck.

 

“A couple times?” Matt was truly full of surprises, “Typical college experimenting and- and one time at a bar six months ago.”

 

Adam was taken aback, but didn’t have any judgements to pass. This was very new information, but it didn’t change anything. If anything, it probably improved the whole situation, since now at least one of them knew what they were doing. Still, six months back was so _recent._ He stated as much - curiously, not accusingly. Matt cleared his throat awkwardly, and rested his forehead on Adam’s shoulder.

 

“I was very attracted to you, and I was very sad and lonely because of it,” Matt sounded incredibly sheepish, and Adam sucked in a sharp breath at the realization of just how long Matt had liked him, “And I just thought about you the whole time. It was quite pathetic, really.”

 

The story made Adam sad, because he should’ve been with Matt earlier. But the thought of Matt thinking of him while having sex was apparently a huge turn on for him. He laced his fingers through Matt’s hair, and used it to gently pull him up so they were face to face.

 

“You’ve got me now,” he assured him, “I’m all yours.”

 

Matt nodded, “can we uh,” he blushed, breaking eye contact, “bedroom?”

 

Adam murmured an ‘of course’, before he sat up, and held onto Matt’s thighs so he could begin carrying him to the bedroom. Matt laughed and swore, and Adam kissed Matt’s neck as he trudged into his bedroom, and pushed the smaller man’s back against the wall as soon as they entered, so he didn’t have to hold all the weight. They let their kisses once again progress to making out territory, before Matt pulled at Adam’s shirt weakly to indicate that he wanted it gone.

 

Adam complied and gently lowered Matt back to the ground, before removing his shirt and throwing it carelessly across the room. Matt stared at his bare chest, and Adam considered it unfair that only he was getting undressed, so he pulled Matt’s off. He let himself have a moment to hold onto Matt’s waist, and take in his compact form. He wanted to kiss Peake’s happy trail, but that had to wait.

 

He pulled Matt with him as he fell back onto the bed, so that he was below the man. He gave in to his needs and let a leg slip in between Matt’s, and thrusted up. Adam felt Matt’s hardness against his thigh, and moaned at the contact, while Matt let out a breathy ‘oh’, and let himself grind down in response. The two kissed and let their hands roam over each other as they slowly thrust against each other through their slacks. The situation was very new to Adam, but it felt right. It felt really fucking good. He let a hand slip down the back of Matt’s slacks, to feel his ass over his underwear, and panicked when Matt reached back and pulled the hand out. However, he became relieved and excited when Matt began to unbutton and unzip his dress pants, and he lifted his hips to let them be taken off.

 

Matt looked down at Adam’s tented underwear with blown pupils, and flushed cheeks. Adam laid still in anticipation, feeling impossibly desperate for more.

 

“Can I…” Matt trailed off, and let his fingers trail down the middle of Adam’s chest, to rest _so_ lightly over his crotch; hesitant.

 

“Just do _something,”_ Adam begged roughly, his hips twitching up into Matt’s hand. He gasped out an ‘oh my god’ when he saw Matt lean down to let his mouth take the place of his hand. Adam was going to die.

 

Matt held onto Adam’s hips with shaky hands as he let his breath hit the man’s crotch. His eyes slipped closed as he leaned forward to mouth over the tent in Adam’s boxers, dragging his lips over it and feeling it out. Adam was losing his mind above him, his eyes wild as he keenly watched Matt’s every movement.

 

Finally, Matt pulled down Adam’s boxers, and let his dick free. It was incredibly hard, and reddening as it laid flat against his stomach. Matt took it into a hand, and pushed back the foreskin to let his tongue lick over and around the head. Adam shook above him, and he moaned Matt’s name freely, knowing he wasn’t going to last long at all.

 

“Don’t tease Matt, Please,” he groaned, a hand tangling itself in Matt’s hair. Matt complied and slipped Adam’s erection into his mouth, slowly taking it down as far as he could. He settled there for a second, before rising back up, and pressing a kiss to the head again. He repeated the up-and-down process, which had Adam’s hand tightening in Peake’s messy hair.

 

Being pushed closer to the edge every second, Adam tried his hardest to not thrust up into Matt’s mouth, because he really didn’t want the guy to gag. But he couldn’t stop himself from pulling sharply at Matt’s hair after the smaller man grazed his dick ever so lightly with his teeth. Matt moaned loudly around Adam’s dick at the rough treatment, his eyes glassy and blissed out as he looked up at Adam. Adam, who was trying not to come on the spot from seeing Matt lose his composure over having his hair pulled.

 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Adam gasped out, and groaned as he saw Matt screw his eyes shut and begin to press at his own crotch over his pants. While sucking Adam off, he thrust against his own hand, needing his own release. The sight was all too much for Adam, who tried to push Matt off with a shaking hand, warning him that he was gonna come.

 

Matt didn’t pull off though, and instead sucked Adam down faster, with more purpose than before. It only took a few long seconds before Adam clawed at the sheets, his back arching up as he came with a long moan. Matt stayed put and swallowed what Adam gave him, which had Adam throwing a forearm over his eyes and near-whimpering, because it was all so hot, and he was so fucking overwhelmed. Matt crawled up Adam’s body and pressed a kiss to his forearm, seeking approval.

 

Adam pulled himself out of his blissed-out state to kiss Matt in thanks, he could taste himself on Matt’s tongue, but he didn’t mind all that much. Matt thrust down against him to remind Adam of his situation, and Adam got to work.

 

He manhandled Matt to lift him up and flip them, so that he was now the one on top, and Matt looked up at him expectantly, looking beautifully dishevelled. Adam kissed down Matt’s chest, and sucked a hickey into a hairless spot on his skin, which caused the man above him to writhe and gasp. Adam was catching onto Matt’s affinity for rougher treatment, and wasn’t at all opposed to the concept.

 

He didn’t want to leave Matt on edge for too long, so he made quick work of removing Matt’s slacks and underwear. Matt’s dick was smaller than Adam’s, but had more girth, and Adam held it in his hand to observe it curiously. This was his first time touching another dick; he had to make it good. He pulled his hand back to spit in his palm, before returning to stroke Matt’s length up and down slowly. Matt thrust up into his hand shamelessly, and let out a whimper when Adam thumbed up at his head, and the precome that was leaking out of it.

 

“More,” Matt begged through his panting, and Adam looked up to see one arm thrown over his face, while his free hand toyed lightly with his nipples. Adam tried his god damn hardest to take a mental photograph. Because _Jesus Christ._

 

Adam obeyed Matt’s request and stroked the man faster, twisting his hand slightly on his upstrokes. He let his free hand move down to cup Matt’s balls, and Matt twitched when Adam let his thumb run over them.

 

“Lowerlowerlowerlowerlower,” Matt was losing himself, his hands now fisted into his own hair as he thrusted up repeatedly, probably not even aware of the words he was slurring.

 

Curious, Adam let his hand move off Matt’s balls, and down lower so that he could trace the pad of his index finger of Matt’s perineum. Matt gasped and his brought his knees to his chest, overwhelming Adam. He could tell that Matt was so close, he just needed one last push to be sent over the edge. Adam was determined to do this for Matt, even though this was unfamiliar territory. So, as he stroked Matt even faster, he let his free hand do what he sometimes did to himself, when he touched himself in the dark, and felt urges he couldn’t supress.

 

He let his thumb drag over Matt’s hole, and pressed ever so lightly against it, and that was it. Matt let out a long, loud whine, and came over himself with hitching breaths and gasps. His whole body was shaking, and Adam touched him through it, until his hand was being batted away tiredly due to Matt’s oversensitivity.  

 

Adam laid down next to Matt and played with his hair while the smaller man calmed down. His eyes still hadn’t opened, and he frowned when Adam let the backs of his fingers stroke gently down the side of his face.

 

“Thank you,” Matt whispered, and took a long pause, “sorry if that was…too much.”

 

“That was perfect, Matt,” Adam said honestly, leaning forward to kiss Matt’s temple, “you were perfect. Thank you.”

 

Matt smiled sheepishly, and held eye contact with Adam. The two of them stared at each other fondly, and they both felt unbelievably lucky. Adam remembered the drying come on Matt’s stomach, and sadly dragged himself out of bed to get him a wash cloth, as well as pour two cups of water.

 

Cleaned up and hydrated, the two of them slipped under the covers snugly. Adam took the role of big spoon, and nestled his nose in Matt’s hair, breathing him in.

 

“I’m so tired,” Adam yawned, and Matt shared the same sentiment.

 

“No need to stay up,” he murmured tiredly, “we’ve got all the time in the world.”

 

Adam smiled brightly in the dark room, and the two of them held hands over Matt’s tummy, drifting off together.

 

* * *

 

 The next morning, the two of them entered the office together, with Matt wearing another one of Adam’s shirts. Everybody had arrived to work before them, and looked up from their work and conversations to look at the two of them expectantly.

 

“Good morning,” Matt spoke up carefully, always needing to be friendly.

 

“Cut the crap,” James leaned back in his chair and gestured at the two of them, “are you two together yet?”

 

Adam looked at Matt, and Matt looked at Adam. They both smiled widely at each other, and Adam wanted to be the reason for Matt’s smile for as long as he could be, because it was beautiful. He leaned down slightly to bump Matt gingerly with his shoulder.

 

“What do you reckon?” he asked quietly, “are we together?”

 

Matt laughed brightly, and nodded, both his and Adam’s eyes tellingly glassy. The office all cheered loudly in celebration. There was clapping, whooping, and a couple of ‘ _finally’s_. Then, there was the ultra-rare occurrence of a group hug.

 

Adam held onto Matt, as all his friends held onto the two of them, and he never wanted to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, and my tumblr is beeonic.tumblr.com if you're interested :)


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